My hair is growing back

This is the first picture that I have posted of myself with no hair. Now that it is starting to grow I think that a part of me is going to miss my bald "egg". It has been really nice during the hot months and I love not having to dry my hair after the shower. I also haven't needed to shave very often (my leg hair seems to have continued to grow but VERY slowly).

I am excited to try new hairstyles that I have always been too chicken to try. I've ALWAYS had the same long hairstyle and now I am going to be able to experiment with short cuts. I also can't wait to see if my hair grows back in straight or curly (so far it looks staight) and if it will be brown or if I will have any new grey hairs.

Genentics test results are in....

...and my DNA is negative for the gene mutation that causes breast cancer!!!!!!!!!! I am so happy I could scream from from the rooftops! Wooooohooooooo!!!!!
I was tested for the mutation for two reasons. The first being that if I were positive for the mutation then the surgeons would recommend a double mastectomy and the removal of my ovaries to help minimize my risk of a recurrence of cancer. The second reason would be to determine whether the other women in my family would carry the mutation and therefore be at a higher risk of getting cancer too. I was terrified that the results were going to come back positive and then I would have to worry about Grace being positive too (she would have had a 50% chance that I passed on the mutation). I am so relieved now that I know that I haven't passed on a "Cancer Gene" to Grace and that hopefully, with the right lifestyle, she will never have to go through this. That's the only thing that really matters to me.

On another note, I breezed through the side effects of my last treatment. I had a few really rough days but they weren't as severe as the treatment before. Only two more chemo treatments. Wow! I can't believe how close I am getting to the end of these treatments. Next month I have an MRI to find out how well the chemo did at destroying my tumour. I can no longer feel a lump but the MRI will tell us what really is going on and then my surgeon will be able to tell me what kind of surgery to prepare for.

It's been a really good day. I'm feeling really good.

LOVE FROM ME TO YOU WHERE EVER YOU ARE. XO.

Taxotere 2

Sixth chemo treatment down and only 2 more to go. I got quite a few people contacting me very concerned after my last post and I'm sorry if I got people worked up. The Taxotere is definitely different from my earlier treatments with some positives (no nausea and my hair is already starting to sprout again) and some negatives (taste buds are messed up, my tongue feels like dry leather, sore bones, nails are sensitive, fatigue, eyebrows and lashes are falling out). But most of the negatives start about 4 days after my chemo treatment and last less then a week and then I am back to almost 100% again. So all is good.

I now only take the Percocet at night after Grace has gone to bed for only about 3 nights and then the bone pain is mild enough to take Tylenol instead. I love the Percocet because it feels like I've had a few glasses of wine and then I have a GREAT night's sleep. I could see how people can get addicted to it :)

Grace started walking in the last few weeks and she's been a HOOT! I love her so much and she knows how to keep me "over the moon happy". She rubs and kisses my peach fuzz head and when I wear my wig she says "hat". I've put my wig on her a couple of times and it's hilarious!!!!!!! I promise to post a picture of that soon.

Now I have some really bad news that has truly floored me. A very loved friend of mine has just been diagnosed with cancer. This is certainly not something that I wanted us to have in common. She is around my age and a wonderful woman. She has always been willing to help me out during my treatments and now I am so sorry that she is going to have to go through this too but I know that she will get through it with flying colours. I don't know why, but there are so many cases of young woman getting breast cancer lately. There's got to be something up with that. Girl, you know who you are, and I love you. My thoughts are with you and I hope I can be there for you as well as you have been there for me.

Taxotere one

On August 7th I had my first Taxotere chemo treatment. The treatment is slightly different than my first four treatments because I have to wear big ice mitts on my hands and feet. Taxotere can cause your fingernails to become brittle and sometimes fall off, so the idea is if your hands and feet are iced during the drip than the blood won't circulate to your fingers and toes as much. My favourite past time during the early treatments was doing Sudoku puzzles but the big funny mitts now make that impossible. I think I'm going to bring my DVD player next time.
The following day I had a nurse come and give me my Neulasta injection. Three thousand dollars was injected into my arm and the side effect I am lucky enough to enjoy from it it BONE PAIN. Not flowers, rainbows or Lucy in the sky with diamonds... but BONE PAIN!
The first few days after my treatment were fine. I was on a steroid to help ease me into the fatigue until Tuesday. On Wednesday I was no longer on the steroid so I was hit with exhaustion. Not only that, but the bone pain was so strong I thought that I would take one of the pain killers that I had been prescribed - Percocet! An hour after taking the percocet I was changing Grace's diaper and started to pass out. I knew I was weak so I put my body over Grace so she wouldn't roll off the change table...then I passed out. It was very scary! I woke up dripping in sweat and exhausted. I finished changing Grace and then plunked her in front of the TV in my room. She watched Sesame Street and I fell unconcious. I now know not to take percocet during the day when alone with Grace.

The flu

The end of July and the beginning of August was pretty crazy for me. Grace got the flu which means that of course I soon was really sick too. I was fine for a few days until I got a fever. If you get a fever when you are in the middle of chemo treatments then you have to contact your doctor IMMEDIATELY. It was after business hours so I had to go to the emergency room. When I arrived at the ER the nurse told me (even though I informed her I was a chemo patient) that I would have to wait about 4 hours in the waiting room with all the other sick people so I opted to go home and sleep in my own bed and went to the Cancer Centre the next morning. I had to get fluids through I.V. and loads of blood work. My first blood results were low and I was told that if the second results were as low then I would be admitted to the hospital for 5 days. I immediately thought of Grace and not being able to see her, then I started to cry. Then I was told my hemoglobin levels were low and that would mean I would need a blood transfusion -WHAT!!!??? All this for a flu? Well, after a few more hours of waiting for 2nd blood results and some hospital food I was finally told that I could go home with an antibiotic. My hemoglobin's were actually fine, my white blood cell count was low but okay. YAY!

Army of Women

I finally joined the "Army of Women" today (www.armyofwomen.org). Their goal is to have more than a million women join their group so that they can get information on breast cancer studies and be available for research. I urge all you ladies out there to join.

Half Way

So, I've finished my fourth chemo treatment. There were a few hiccups this time involving low levels in my blood work that is always taken the day before my treatment. But, I had more blood drawn the morning of my chemo treatment and the levels had come up enough for me to go ahead with the chemo.

This was the first treatment where the nurse had to insert the "gripper" (needle with tubes) into my port. I used Emla Cream a few hours before to freeze the area so it wouldn't hurt so much but it still felt like she was jamming a pin into my chest. It didn't actually hurt any more than a regular needle but the nurse has to use a lot of force to press the gripper into the port and that is a little unusual.

I'm not really thrilled about being halfway through my treatments because I know that this means that I will be starting the Taxotere in less than 3 weeks. I've heard horror stories about my taste buds changing so much that food won't be satisfying, the fatigue will be WAY WORSE and my eyebrows and lashes (which I have not lost yet) will finally fall out. I've heard about all these terrible possible side effect but the nurse on Friday said that some patients find the Taxotere easier. We will see.

I will also start taking the Herceptin which I will continue to take for 18 treatments (I've calculated that I will be finished the Herceptin treatments next August). I will be getting another echo cardiogram this week to make sure that my heart is strong enough to handle it.

Thank you to all of you who have fed my family, watched Grace for me and sent me your messages and well wishes. I couldn't get through this with out your support. I love you all.