3rd Chemo....DONE!

So today was my third chemo treatment. I noticed that I recognized a lot of the other people in the ward from my past two treatments. I found out that the lady I talked to last time found her missing dog and that another lady, that I talked to and smiled at during my first treatment, was named Julia. I also met a woman, Lisa, who was there for her first treatment. Although it is awful to find out you have cancer, it is very nice meeting men and women who are going through the same thing and therefore relate to them. For example, I walked by a woman outside the hospital who had a bald head and a bandage on her chest (from her port insertion), I had a hat on for a change (no wig) and a bandage on my chest from my port insertion last Friday (which went REALLY smoothly by the way...it was like being at the spa compared to the P.I.C.C. insertion). Anyway, back to my story, all I did was tap my chest where my bandage is when we walked by each other and we gave each other HUGE smiles. We are part of the same club or SISTERHOOD if you will.
Having cancer has definitely changed my outlook on EVERYTHING in my life for mostly the better; everyone I meet in the cancer centre (nurses, volunteers, patients...) have also been the most amazing, warm, caring and friendly people. I see way more smiles than tears in the ward.
The ward also has a bell hanging from the wall by the exit. I think it's called the VICTORY bell, or something like that. You ring it after your last chemo treatment. A man got to ring the bell today and everyone clapped and cheered for him. It was really nice to see and I can't wait until I get my turn.
The other thing I can't wait for is the RELAY FOR LIFE. I don't know if I will get to do it next year or the year after that, but I can't wait for when I can walk the "survivor" lap with my mother...I cry happy tears just thinking about how awesome that will be and how proud I will be of my victory with this disease.
I'll write soon. I'm sorry that I have been so bad at writing lately.

100%

I'm feeling GREAT! Everyone is asking me how I am feeling and probably expecting me to be under the weather but it's just the opposite. I'm happy, I'm felling fantastic and everything is wonderful. Grace is the funniest little thing and keeps me laughing. She learned to blow kisses and gives me kisses on the top of my bald head. She learned to say "fishy" the other day and says it all the time.

We just got some beautiful photos back from Tiana Kluchert who volunteered to do a photo shoot with me and Gracie just before my hair began to fall out. I'm very happy with them and urge any one who is interested to contact her at http://www.littlepixels.ca/.

Chemo session 2 complete. P.I.C.C. line gone.

So I've had my second chemo treatment and now I'm home waiting to see how sick I'm going to get. My mom came with me to keep me company and we had to wait a long time with just a saline hook up because it took forever for the pharmacy to bring the nurse my chemo drugs. We met some nice ladies. One who is finished all her chemo treatments (her hair is probably about 3 inches long now)...she was fantastic. Then I met another nice woman who was lying next to me in the chemo ward. She was worried because she lost her dog today right before her chemo appointment so she had to leave while her neighbors looked for him. I hope they found him. My chemo buddy, Colleen, was also there today. She gave me some great chemo hats for sleeping in and also some bandannas. Mom also found some pretty scarves in the donation bin and they will be great on a hot summer day.

Mom came back home with me and we relieved my sister from Grace watching duty so she could go home and walk her dog. Mom went and picked up Thai food for me. We got my favourite curry dish plus some pad Thai. The curry seemed a little hot for my sensitive tummy but the pad thai was perfect. Mmmmmmm.

I got a letter today from Service Canada stating that I was denied my 15 week sick E.I. claim because I already got 50 weeks of Parental Leave. This seems discriminatory because if a father had been the one who got sick rather than a mother then he would have qualified for sick leave. The good news is when I called the Service Canada help line this afternoon a very helpful man, Rohan, spent a lot of time studying my file and told me that I could appeal if I have to but he doesn't think that will be necessary. There seems to be something in the computer that says my file is still active and the letter I received might be a mistake. Rohan also said that you will always getting $$$ that you are entitled to and that if you aren't entitled to the money it doesn't matter how hard I try....He said I am entitled to the leave....I hope Rohan is right. In the mean time, I have to fill out the forms for disabbility (O.D.S.P). There are a lot of forms and I need to get doctors to fill out forms too. Once I apply for O.D.S.P. it will take around 4 months to activate the payments. So, I really need the sick leave to cover me until O.D.S.P. comes in.

In other news, my memory is getting REALLY bad. Please don't hold it against me if I don't call you when I'm supposed to or I forget a conversation that we had. The memory loss is WAY worse with chemo than it was with pregnancy or the sleep deprivation from taking care of an infant. My personal nurse says that she thinks that cancer patients get "chemo brain" as a coping mechanism. Whatever the case, I am very concerned about how dumb I am getting.

Itchy Scalp

So my head is super itchy. My little one inch long hairs are falling out in little clumps and I have to wear a scarf on my head when I go to bed to try to avoid waking up with hair all over my pillow. My scalp hurts a little - it kind of feels like when you take your hair down after having it up in a pony tail all day but it doesn't go away - at least not until my hair has finished falling out.

I went to CHEO today for genetics testing. I had to get my blood drawn in the CHEO blood lab and it was so sad to see all the little kids coming out crying after their blood work. There were a few brave little guys that were very proud of themselves for not crying...very cute. There was also a little girl, almost two years old, that reminded me so much of Grace...and then I found out her name was Grace too. She cried when it was her turn. Poor thing.

This afternoon I had to go to the General Hospital to get more blood drawn. I will have to do this the day before every chemo treatment to make sure that my white blood cell count isn't too low. It was the first time I actually watched as my blood was taken because the nurse was able to draw it directly from my P.I.C.C. line (I don't usually watch because I don't like to see the needle in my arm).

Grace came with me to the General hospital and was blowing kisses to the nurses, volunteers and the other patients in the chemo ward waiting room. She learned to do this the other night and now can't get enough of it. It was a riot. Everyone was laughing which just encouraged her to keep going. She's the light of my life.

Tomorrow is chemo. I hope it goes as well as last time, if not better. My personal nurse says there is no reason to expect it to be any worse than last time for the next 3 sessions. I'm going to picture the chemo drugs shrinking and disolving my tumor until it is nothing.

LOVE! Daiva :)

HER-2 Possitive

I had an appointment with my oncologist today - or I was supposed to, she was out of town so another doctor was filling in who wasn't even an oncologist. The appointment was uneventful until I asked if the results came back concerning my tumor's receptors (a test to see if the tumor reacts to proteins or hormones). I'm her-2 positive. The doctor who told me this news couldn't really answer any questions...she was a family doctor. I've done some reading up on this and I think that this means (in VERY simple terms) that my tumor over expresses a protein that helps the tumor cells grow and multiply. This means that my tumor is more aggressive than someone who isn't her-2. In the past this would mean that my chances of having cancer that would spread or reoccur were high, but now they have drugs and treatments which can bring my odds back down to (and perhaps below) those who are her-2 negative. The bummer is that I will be on a drug called Herceptin that will be given via IV every 3 weeks at the Chemo Ward for 18 months!!!!!! The first Herceptin treatment would start along with my 7th chemo treatment (sometime in September)....18 months from then would be March, 2010...that is when I would be finished all my treatments.

Because I will need a line into my veins for a long time I will be getting rid of my P.I.C.C. line and getting a Port line instead. A Port is a disc inserted beneath my skin around my left collar bone with a line running from the disc through my vein towards my heart. Then, when I need a chemo or Herceptin treatment the nurse locates the disc and pops the IV line through it. I will be able to swim and pick Grace up again with my left arm but I will have a 3 inch scar once the disc is removed. It will rub against my seat belt and it will bother me when I sleep on my stomach. The disc has to be surgically inserted and it looks like my procedure will happen the week of June 23rd. If that's the case then I will be able to get this darn P.I.C.C. taken out soon after this next chemo treatment.

In other news, I am having a terrible reaction to the dressing over my P.I.C.C. I've got a red bumpy rash that is so itchy that it drives me crazy. The nurse is switching my dressing over to a new one that has less reaction but also less adhesion. Good thing this won't be a concern for long.