My Surgery is tomorrow

I know that this is very last minute to announce my surgery but nothing was set in stone until yesterday. I have decided to go forward and have the mastectomy with a sentinel node procedure. This KILLED me to have to make this decision but I know that it is the right one and once it had finally been made I felt like a weight had been lifted off of me. Because I have multiple (two) malignant tumours in my breast and because I am HER2+ the best chances to avoid a local recurrence is to have the mastectomy. The odds of recurrence after my mastectomy are around 2-5% in my lifetime whereas the odds with the lumpectomy are 2% per year. I plan to live into my 90's, so 60 years from now my odds of recurrence would be 120% with the lumpectomy.
I will be discharged the same day and I will feel pretty out of it for days due to the pain killers. I will be in some pain for a long time (it could be as long as a year) and I won't be able to pick up Grace for about 6 weeks. I'm looking for volunteers to help me take care of Grace, so please contact me if you are willing.
In the new year I will start my radiation treatment which is daily and will last 5 weeks. Then I will have to wait at least a year before I can think about reconstruction. I will probably remove my other breast down the road once I know that I won't have any more kids and then have that breast reconstructed too so that I can be symmetrical again. The good news is that I will have the perkiest boobies no matter how old I get. The bad news is I won't have any sensation in them.
I'm a little scared about the surgery and how much pain I'm going to be in afterwards and how my life will be on hold until I have recovered. I'm worried I won't be able to find enough volunteers to take care of Grace and I know I won't be able to take care of her by myself.
I'm sad that it has had to come to this and I'm sure I will be devastated but I have been too busy stocking up the fridge, doing chores and preparing for tomorrow to really be that upset or let the reality of it sink in. I know that I will feel like a freak show when I have to look at myself in the mirror but my beautiful husband has been nothing but the best. He says that he could care less about what I will look like and (even if he's lying) he's doing a good job at making me feel a little less ugly.
I've got to go now. I have laundry to fold and a weeks worth of meals to make.
See you on the other side.
LOVE!!!!!
Daiva

MRI results aren't that good

So the results are back and they aren't what either the surgeon or I was hoping for. Not only is the tumour the same size as it was before I started chemotherapy but also there are two new masses. My surgeon thinks that my tumour was actually bigger than they thought before (because we could feel the mass shrink during chemo) and a biopsy on the new mass is scheduled for this Wednesday.My surgery may be pushed back while we wait for the results of the biopsy. If the results aren't good then I will most likely require a mastectomy.
I'd like to send out my special thoughts to my friend Laura, who just had a double mastectomy the other day. I love you and I hope you are doing well.

Eight Chemo Treatments Behind Me

Now that the side effects are wearing off from my eighth chemotherapy treatment I feel like I can finally say that I'm done. It's hard to believe that my first treatment was May 15th and now I am finally through it.
Tomorrow I have an MRI and my surgery is scheduled for Friday, November 13th. My surgeon is encouraged with how my tumour seems to have responded to the chemotherapy. We will know for sure after the MRI but he thinks that I will not need a mastectomy. Yay!
I found out that I will be considered "cancer free" once I have my surgery. Another yay!

This is a picture of me getting my chemotherapy drugs. I have ice mitts on my feet and hands to keep my circulation slow so that the drugs don't go to my fingers and toes. If it had then I could have lost my nails.

This is a picture of me ringing the Victory Bell in the Chemo Ward at the General Hospital.

Thanks Telus and Rethink Breast Cancer

I am writing this post from my NEW BLACKBERRY that was given to me by Telus and an organization called "Rethink Breast Cancer". The service will be covered for a year, free of charge, by Telus. This is through a program called "Technology + Treatment", who's aim is to provide BlackBerries to young women with breast cancer so that they can manage all their appointments and procedures. I've been lugging around a huge binder until now, so the phone comes as a great relief. I also will be able to post more and respond to everyone faster now!
Thank you Telus and Rethink Breast Cancer!

My hair is growing back

This is the first picture that I have posted of myself with no hair. Now that it is starting to grow I think that a part of me is going to miss my bald "egg". It has been really nice during the hot months and I love not having to dry my hair after the shower. I also haven't needed to shave very often (my leg hair seems to have continued to grow but VERY slowly).

I am excited to try new hairstyles that I have always been too chicken to try. I've ALWAYS had the same long hairstyle and now I am going to be able to experiment with short cuts. I also can't wait to see if my hair grows back in straight or curly (so far it looks staight) and if it will be brown or if I will have any new grey hairs.

Genentics test results are in....

...and my DNA is negative for the gene mutation that causes breast cancer!!!!!!!!!! I am so happy I could scream from from the rooftops! Wooooohooooooo!!!!!
I was tested for the mutation for two reasons. The first being that if I were positive for the mutation then the surgeons would recommend a double mastectomy and the removal of my ovaries to help minimize my risk of a recurrence of cancer. The second reason would be to determine whether the other women in my family would carry the mutation and therefore be at a higher risk of getting cancer too. I was terrified that the results were going to come back positive and then I would have to worry about Grace being positive too (she would have had a 50% chance that I passed on the mutation). I am so relieved now that I know that I haven't passed on a "Cancer Gene" to Grace and that hopefully, with the right lifestyle, she will never have to go through this. That's the only thing that really matters to me.

On another note, I breezed through the side effects of my last treatment. I had a few really rough days but they weren't as severe as the treatment before. Only two more chemo treatments. Wow! I can't believe how close I am getting to the end of these treatments. Next month I have an MRI to find out how well the chemo did at destroying my tumour. I can no longer feel a lump but the MRI will tell us what really is going on and then my surgeon will be able to tell me what kind of surgery to prepare for.

It's been a really good day. I'm feeling really good.

LOVE FROM ME TO YOU WHERE EVER YOU ARE. XO.

Taxotere 2

Sixth chemo treatment down and only 2 more to go. I got quite a few people contacting me very concerned after my last post and I'm sorry if I got people worked up. The Taxotere is definitely different from my earlier treatments with some positives (no nausea and my hair is already starting to sprout again) and some negatives (taste buds are messed up, my tongue feels like dry leather, sore bones, nails are sensitive, fatigue, eyebrows and lashes are falling out). But most of the negatives start about 4 days after my chemo treatment and last less then a week and then I am back to almost 100% again. So all is good.

I now only take the Percocet at night after Grace has gone to bed for only about 3 nights and then the bone pain is mild enough to take Tylenol instead. I love the Percocet because it feels like I've had a few glasses of wine and then I have a GREAT night's sleep. I could see how people can get addicted to it :)

Grace started walking in the last few weeks and she's been a HOOT! I love her so much and she knows how to keep me "over the moon happy". She rubs and kisses my peach fuzz head and when I wear my wig she says "hat". I've put my wig on her a couple of times and it's hilarious!!!!!!! I promise to post a picture of that soon.

Now I have some really bad news that has truly floored me. A very loved friend of mine has just been diagnosed with cancer. This is certainly not something that I wanted us to have in common. She is around my age and a wonderful woman. She has always been willing to help me out during my treatments and now I am so sorry that she is going to have to go through this too but I know that she will get through it with flying colours. I don't know why, but there are so many cases of young woman getting breast cancer lately. There's got to be something up with that. Girl, you know who you are, and I love you. My thoughts are with you and I hope I can be there for you as well as you have been there for me.