Surgery

I am at the Cancer Centre waiting to see my oncologist and she is 45 minutes behind schedule. I don't know why I kill myself to get to these appointments on time anymore because it seems like she is never on time.
At least this gives me time to finally write down my experience with my surgery. Deciding to get the mastectomy was extremely difficult and it was a decision that I was desperately trying to avoid. But once I realised that it was the only choice, I knew I was making the right decision and all of a sudden I was very calm and not nervous or devastated. I was extremely busy the few days before the surgery. I thought that I would be too tired or sore to do anything.
Kevin drove me to the General Hospital Critical Care wing really early on Nov. 27. We had to be there at 6:30 in the morning. I checked in and got changed into my gown and booties. Then Kevin and I met with a nurse who told me that my surgery was at 8:00. This surprised me because I was told that it would take all morning to prep me for surgery. I was happy that the surgery was so early because it meant less waiting.I kissed Kevin goodbye and climbed into a bed. They wheeled me into the corridor outside my operating room (room #4). This is where I began to get nervous. I was scared of the anesthesia and worried that I wouldn't wake up. I started to bawl and thought of Grace. The anesthesiologist came and spoke to me and then my surgeon came and signed my right breast (this is to ensure that they remove the correct breast). The nurse then wheeled me into the operating room and preped me.
This is what I remember:
I was moved from my bed to the operating table. The anesthesiologist inserted my I.V. while the nurse introduced me to the team and gave me an oxigen mask. She then put sticky sensors on my body to monitor my vitals. The anesthesiologist injected a drug into my I.V. and told me it was to make me relax. He then said that he would tell me before he gave me the drug that would knock me out. I was pleased with this because I planned to feel myself up one more time. THAT'S ALL I REMEMBER!! He may have warned me and I may have felt myself up but I don't have any memory of it. The next thing I remember is waking up and the nurse telling me I did great while she wheeled me out of the O.R. I thought that I would be in a lot of pain and be upset after my surgery. I also thought that I would feel "different" but in reality I felt little pain and I was the still the same person. Sure I was less one breast but now I am considered CANCER FREE! I remember smiling when I realised this.
I was brought to a large critical care room where I was monitored for about an hour. My temperature was low, so they put a plastic blanket over me and set up a heater to blow under it. Once my temperature was back up I was moved to another room monitoring room. I was here for another couple of hours. The nurses wrapped a tension bandage around my chest and helped me get dressed. They showed me the exercises that I have to do to get my right arm's mobility back to what it was before surgery. I remember a nurse asking me if my husband was good during all of this drama. I started bawling again and tried to tell the nurse between sobs that Kevin was the BEST HUSBAND and that he loved me so much (I don't think I thank him enough for all his absolutely amazing support).
The part where I left this area and was reunited with Kevin is all a little fuzzy. I do remember going home and being reunited with Grace who, a few hours before, I was worried I would never see again.
Oh, my patient designated nurse just walked by and said that I am next. She also said that the pathology from my tissue is back. Ahhhh! I'm suddenly very nervous. I better run. Next, I'll write about my experience once I got home and when I finally had my bandages removed 5 days later.